Jacob's Ladder
9/26/13

A shitload of vodka, about to start on the straight bourbon.

I know absolutely nothing about this film.  Other than that it was really trippy.  That's why I downloaded this thing.  Let's get it on bitch.
aaaannnd, I need more to drink.  One moment.
I'm eating tuna out of the can like I'm a fucking cat.  Just wasn't feeling the ramen at the moment.
Death, destruction, and seizures for some reason.
I don't even.
The fuck is going on?  I really don't know.
WAIT, WAT?
Now we're suddenly back in the States in a subway?
I don't even.
Well the subway in 1990 certainly seems creepy enough.
What the hell was going on with the old gypsy woman?
ABANDONED SUBWAYS: THE MOVIE
Fuck, this is like "The Wall" or something.  ...I like it.
Elevators, and everything else for that matter, are so worn down and shitty.  I'm pretty sure this is New York, so that might be the same today, I dunno.
God, his girlfriend is gorgeous.  Oh my god, shower scene, yes please.
For some reason I think I've seen the girl years later when she was older.  Maybe not, who can tell?  In 1990 she was hot as shit, that's all that matters at the moment.
When does the fear and loathing shit start up?  I'm gonna need a cigarette in a minute.  Especially if nothing happens.
WAIT WHAT.  Maculy Culkin?  I know I didn't spell his name right but I don't give a fucking shit at the moment, I'm drunk, what the hell man.  Culkin was his kid or something?  Is he gonna be in this film?  Goddamn dude.
Man in 1990s sucked for everyone but John McClaine, and actually they sucked for him too.  Fuck the 90s.  Kinda glad I was born in the 80s now.  Except I had to bear a lot of shitty music for that coming decade, the decade that never seemed to want to end.  Best cartoons of all time though, so there's that.
I think this girl was a cop in some later show.  I'll have to look it up.  Like Law n Order or some shit.  I know I've seen her in other stuff.
Danny Aiello, in between Spike Lee films, making white people look like we're all the devil incarnate.  Maybe we are, but all the other races are too.  There is no angel race.
So Danny's gonna tap into his underlying memories or something and unearth some crazy ass shit?  I can't wait.  Get on with it.
The fuck?  When did this become Death Race 2000?  Or Carmageddon 2?  One of my favorite violent games my father actually played with me.  Just harkening back a bit.  This bourbon's gonna be the death of me tomorrow.
Was an orc driving the car?  I am so confuzzled.
The fuck is going on?  Is this like a weird Vietnam Vet Alice in Wonderland?
Seeing as how I'm losing my own mind I can totally relate to this dude.  Is that really so bad?  Is it a bad thing to lose one's mind?  To be completely disconnected?  To think differently from the crowd?  To long for that moment when you'll be crossing over, rather than dreading it.  That moment in between worlds that could quite possibly last for billions of years before the point of death, the transit stretching out the perception of time to such an extent that time itself no long holds sway over your mind and you see everything, forever.  Been there, done that.  I'd go again but I don't know the right people or have enough $.
Chic was still big in 1990?  I suppose I think the year of the decade change everything should suddenly shift but in actuality it doesn't work like that.  Shit clothes continued past the 80s, well into the 90s.  If only the 60s and 70s had never ended.
Oh shit the mystic lady was the chief lady from Law and Order.  Maybe the other chick was from Law and Order after all.
"according to this you're already dead"  -well that's just great.  Thanks for pointing that shit out.  Gracias.
Oh my god, that party FUCKING RULED.  I'd love to see some shit like that.  Girlfriend turning into a lizard, or fucking a lizard, getting spiked through the mouth or something by something or other.  Strobe lights everywhere, forever.  I've got two myself.  I'm tempted to turn them on for the rest of the film.  Hang on, cig time.  BRB in like 15 minutes.
Ice, water, ice water.  Death by ice water.
Is he already dead?
NOOOOOOO, Maculy Culkin! WAT
What is going on?
I don't even anymore.
I dont even.
So it's not just him, other guys from the war are losing their minds.  Or maybe they're the only ones who can see the truth.  I can't tell yet.
Now it's Rocky?  WHat the fuck is going on.
Oh shit it's the badass black dude from ER.  Why haven't I seen him in anything in like ten years?  Benson was the fuckin G.  Did he retire?  Fuck.
Oh shit it's the awesome black dude from Mission Impossible too.  Damn, the badassness to normalcy ratio is way off.
Holy shit, now George from Seinfeld?  Damn, too many famous dudes have shown up in the past 5 minutes.  If only they were in the whole movie.
So... they were never in Vietnam, just some wargames in Thailand fucked em up?  No comprende, senor.
Oh, so it's all an army experiment gone wrong?  Okay then.  I was hoping for more fucked up shit, more hallucinations and what not.
the shiiiiiiiit?
rolling a man whose back might be out into some backalley?
fuck me.
This is some shit.
oh my gentle jesus
this is hell?
HOLY FUCK is that the mom from Game of Thrones who just got offed off?  Holy shit
DREAM ON
The only parts of you that burn in hell are the parts you can't let go of.
Good words.  Don't know how true they are.  Expect I'll find out.
now I am very confuzzled
as I expect most of the audience is as well
IT'S A TRAP.
goddamn telephone
fuck, okay so it's not a trap I guess.  Just exposition out the ass, a drug like outta 28 days later, tried on humans. and they all killed each other
YES! That was awesome! I was about to write this movie off as a piece of sentimental shit until the very end.  That sealed it in for me.  I fucking love this movie, and it's all about the very end.  It has to be.  That's something that I believe in, what with the DMT that hits your brain right before the end.  It's a truth that could hold within in a multitude of years and lifetimes.  Having had more than one crazy trip, I can say that I have experienced a multitude of lifetimes that my current age of 24 doesn't show.  I might seem to be 24 but in actuality I have experienced so much time and so much pain and so much struggle and bliss that my age has nothing to do with my behavior and realization of the world and everything in it.
With that I will have a bit more to drink and say Adieu, bitches.