Hard Boiled
9/18/13

One 40 oz of Mickeys, 6 glasses of vodka rocks by now

How many bullets can fit in a gun?  Apparently a million and in order to kill a cop it takes about fifty to the chest.  At least in Hong Kong.  Also I remember I like this movie but forgot how much retarded slo-mo there is.  The slo-mo is uneventful and disturbs the action.
"Give a man a gun and he's superman, give him two and he's GOD."

Yep, two guns and you can do anything and kill anyone, cause ammo doesn't concern itself with the guns of the gods.  Also you can gun down a pedestrian, a nobody, and because of all the shit that's flying around the room you're totally immune from being persecuted.
And jazz is a mass murderer's best friend.  Cause.
This dub job is making my brain hurt, it's so bad.
Also driving around Hong Kong apparently is awesome (while on massive amounts of cocaine, which would prove too obvious for words but is implied I think)
Also reading sucks.  Maybe it's just reading in Chinese that sucks.  Or libraries in general, I dunno.
It is kinda cool to see shitty knockoffs of Russian guns being used so openly and without concern for all the problems that would naturally come with them, like jamming, etc.  You could pull a gun on a guy and the gun would jam and either the shot would never fire or it would but would stop the next shot from firing.  These are all real world concerns which would add a lot of tension to scenes.  Instead we are treated with knockoff Tokarev's which hold 3 billion bullets for some reason.
Yes, scenes of paperwork being explained! Wonderful! Brilliant! Bold! Boring! *gunshot
IS THAT ILLLEGAL?
best line of the movie so far.  Totally out of place and very ridiculous.  I love it.
perfect, Tequila's a jerk and his girl is shrill and annoying.  I'm kinda surprised there wasn't a gun battle involving them both by now.
Or was there? KA-ZING.
"Superintendant"
"What's up?"
That's the kind of place i'd like to work at.
Wow, is it just me or is everyone in this film retarded?  That would make sense of Mission Impossible 2.  (same director)
I'm starting to draw a blank as to why I thought this movie was awesome.  OH YEAH, it's because I was twelve.  The moments in between mass murder nothing makes sense at all and no one really cares because the action is what it is. I need another drink.
The fact that he also tosses back fish, big fish, bothers me as a fisherman.  He's either too lazy to clean and eat it or the lives of fish are too much trouble to kill while murdering twenty men, including innocents caught in the crossfire, are no big deal.
Part of me thinks that MST3K did this dubbing as a joke.  It's pretty bad.
Also I don't know what the fuck is going on.  All this blue is cool, especially compared to orange but seriously, what is going on?
What? That boss leader dude is way too trusting.
I know this is when slo-mo was cool but way to fucking overdo it big time.  Fuck.
Also an IMG has 30 bullets, not a hundred, though why am I even saying this at this point.  Fuck.
Guns never need to be reloaded, ever.  EVER.
I still don't know anything about the story and i've been here the entire time.  Who is doing what to whom has no bearing.  Tequila is gonna shoot some bitches, that's it.  Also his partner is pretending to be a bad guy, or something, but they still shoot some innocents along the way.
Tequila, why are you wasting time loading a shotgun?  Don't you know that gun's ammo is based on cool fusion?
"I Got this high, but surely you don't have to kill all my boys."
Alright, I totally understand why I loved this movie as a kid.  It doesn't matter why, or where, or whom, it's all about murder, and lots of it. 
Nevermind all that shit, this is the greatest action film ever made.
FUCK ME
I literally have no words.
anyward, undercoer, fuck, fuck,  fuck, a guy called Vodka?